Choice Bits

• We’re on vacation the next two weeks, so listen to this 3 times.
• You know what else works? Being brown.
• What do you use to keep the monkeys away from you?
• In India, our mosquitoes attack other smaller mosquitoes
• If you’re not canoeing into work, it’s not a monsoon
• I have been putting fake porn pictures of you up on the Internet
• I’m not sure RLS is on the same level as Dengue Virus
• Maybe they cut out her perspective during one of her brain surgeries
• Speaking of super abilities…
• I don’t recall what you said. Was I listening?
• I’m pissed off at Vs today
• Superheroes vs Supervillains fight Saturday, June 27th at 6:30. Come out!
• What is your superhero name, Sometimes Disabled Boy?
• Wait, you’re Indian. You know how to levitate.
• Sunny could be Sasquatch or Captain Caveman.
• You guys are being wacky in costumes while I’m singled out as the terrorist
• If you have to say “Is it offensive?”, it probably is
• He’ll bitch-slap you four times with one move
• That looks like an upside-down penis
• She could be Super Blame-Deflecting Girl
• The strip bars never close
• You and your girlfriend got ran out because they thought you were hookers
• Fanks Cj fo cookee

Choice Bits

• I didn’t get you pregnant
• Instead of an “APPLAUSE” light, you need a “DOUCHE” light
• Next time you wanna make a sales pitch: space uniform
• You’re not my favorite
• You surely recognize you cannot compress time
• Sign up to present at Ignite Phoenix 5
• I’m now banned from Social Media Club
• Maybe you should moon them?
• Hewn vs felled
• Should I stop being good?
• Bribery kind of invalidates the transaction
• We need an androgynous dyke for this position
• So you’re a tracer?
• Evo says you are a prostitute
• Let’s let him not fuck that up
• Fucktard is getting married on Monday
• Can you drink while you are ice skating?

Number 1

Number 2

Number 3

Number 4

Number 5

Number 6

Not much time. I’m being pushy!

Choice Bits

• Math is hard

• Apologies for last week’s show.
• You fucked my day completely
• I’m trying to piss people off on purpose
• I spent the morning being lotioned-up by a 2 year old
• I look like Nappy Dan
• They call that David Attenborough Syndrome
• Into the Dark
• I plan on showing my ass again
• If there’s no drinking involved, we won’t do it for #evfn
• Vacation for Evo @ 11 crew coming up in July
• I’m pretty sure that precludes operating heavy machinery
• Wedge that thing right between your tits and you’ll be in the perfect spot
• That’s where the phrase “anal leakage” came from
• Would it be rude for me to say perhaps your daughter is in prostitution?
• She’s a pussy-enabler

Choice Bits

• You were a lot drunk
• Shut the fuck up, woman
• Invite the wrong crowd and encourage them to do bad things
• Evocon (should really be ShEvo:con, I think)
• This is another story of my idiot son
• It’s illegal to drive down the road with the doors open on the van — while you’re drinking
• This is life lesson #242
• His wife is a useless princess
• I’m not touching my kid’s testicle
• Was it Twilight terrible?
• Debbie always falls for the dumpy guy
• WanderRadio.com
• You are a big ass
• None of her family listens to this show
• OK, have my empty can
  Sincere Driver Needed

• Ding.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• But there will be no fellatio
• I jotted down show notes, but I’m not too sure I can read them
• Ding
• Evo ate a baby on the plane
• What strange shit can you say right now?
• Is there a chemist in the room?
• You may put your mouth all over my scotch
• Now I’m just the fucking errand boy
• Tommy Chong’s Waffle House
• I’m a dick
• Phil Rossi was banned from this show two years ago
• It means “nice ass” in Lat
• “How are you living a little”
• I wanna fuck you like a chemist
• I can’t deal with anything that ends in “Z”. Like the alphabet?
• The opposite of ding sounds racist, so I’m not gonna say it
• Shut up, it’s my show
• I’m sorry, four and five didn’t make it
• The good news is; I don’t care
• Holy shit I need some more field scotch
• Science Thriction?
• Just looking for a reason to hate
• But now the bitch cleans
• Has anyone in the audience done an alcohol enema?
• Ding.

Choice Bits

• When committing a crime and/or having sex: do not film yourself.
• It’s not like they fucked the pig that made the pepperoni
• Sex with the Pig in the City
• Get off my lawn!
• Mur Lafferty’s inside story access to War - > heavennovel.com
• Are you a monkey fucking, hit every room and every piece of the furniture person?
• Oh there’s a candle involved all right
• It’s white shit that gets smeared on bread
• When did the Depends come in?
• The wand of Double Penetration
• Come to Podcamp AZ - November 14th & 15th. It’s free. You’ll have fun.
• Michael Vick as spokesman for Humane Society? Will Dick Cheney as spokesman for Amnesty International be next?
• I’m not any kind of model
• Could George Hrab rape a dog?

Choice Bits

• Did you swallow my eye?

• The theory about what color his dick was
• Great title for a movie: Guys in Space
• Paramount paid Jesus to endorse it
• Now I hate the movie thanks to everything you said
• His real name is Huge Ackman
• Fucking with the in-laws: good times
• You are sick and fucking demented
• Orc husband?
• Jesus is crying on me
• Fucking #followfriday
• I liked my idea of #felatiofriday
• Technorama is coming back!
• You’ve got your pasta in a twist…
• I call him a pussy all the damned time
• Quizno’s did not pay for these spots
• Gives a whole different meaning to “secret sauce”
• She’s talking to that passed-out bitch in the corner
• Men, for some reason, want to watch women pee
• I can’t stick my vagina through a hole
• I feel better. I’ve been raunchy.

Choice Bits

• Apologies for last week’s show

• P.G. tells you what you missed last week
• They want all those kids to get sick
• No, that would be the firth of fifth
• What is this “we” shit? You got a mouse in your pocket?
• You’re stepping on my toes
• Post-gun check but pre-drinking
• I wanna fuck your livestock like an animal
• I do an impersonation of John Denver
• My audience is numerically challenged
• What does a live pan look like?
• The exact opposite of puking is gurgitating
• This conversation is very vealing
• Is that a verb involving Steve Eley?
• Penny beers are worth… pennies
• She’s really nice. I’m not sure what to do.
• I don’t give a frog’s fat ass what the clock says

Choice Bits

• These are my bitches

• It’s Debbie’s birthday
• I didn’t bring you the Swine flu
• There are more people killed every year by deer
• Balticon 43 promo
• It tastes like adrenaline, as in I just chewed someone’s adrenal gland
• The inside is liquid evil
• All joking aside — that was vile. And it might have been bile.
• It’s one side of your evil face in the dark
• Seth Harwood coming to Phoenix in June
• Are you over 21?
• Do not deliver to an intoxicated person
• Did you get something from dildos.com?
• Watch the video of Seth’s dog eating a steak
• There weren’t too many people drunker than Cj that night
• … and I just leapt into his arms because I had been drinking
• He was like a drink-ticket ATM
• Love Long and Prosper promo
• You usually dress like I do — as little as socially possible
• Assless chaps, baby
• You showed her the vinyl outfit?
• We can’t offend people anymore
• For the record, you can give anyone a blow job, on air, for your birthday, or just because it’s Wednesday
• The flu is not on peoples’ ass
• I don’t care how big your ass is, you’re not going to get the swine flu from it
• His friend had to go to Best Buy to take a dump